Introspection

 So, some things I have been doing since I handed in my Final Major Project (four of my final pieces photographed above);

Doing Judy's Vintage Fair in Newcastle.

I had a pretty lovely time doing the fair, it was really nice to catch up with my friend Alix & eat homemade (very good!) coffee cake. I did go home quite disappointed though as I didn't quite make enough money to cover the £50 cost of the stall, falling £3 short. Like, I know that's not much, and I did sell quite a few pieces, but it's still a bit of a knock. Especially as I was hoping to make some money to put towards a holiday. I know that it was only because the stall was so expensive that I didn't make a profit, and at least I still got my name out there. I don't know though, it has shaken my confidence a little bit. 

Knitting all night and making some new pieces for the shop.

Finally getting around to converting all my vinyls to mp3, and discovering this lovely little requirement on the back of my Ziggy Stardust record.

Making pointless long strands of knitting with my knitting doll and leftover pieces of wool.

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This summer I have decided I want to be productive. And creative. And everything that I said I would be every summer, but haven't. I think I have been holding myself back a bit over the years because I don't want to be wrong or mess things up, as if there actually is any wrong way to be creative. I have always had it in the back of my mind that I want to be a writer, and I do sometimes still tell people this, but I find it so hard to put pen to paper because, again, I'm scared that what will come out won't be very good. I used to write all the time - songs, poems, stories - but for some reason it all stopped when I got to about 14.

I am going to keep a journal and write things down all the time. I will take it with me everywhere and write anywhere, because contrary to my own ingrain belief nobody actually cares what other people do on trains or in coffee shops and no one will look at me funny. I am not going to care about what kind of paper, book or pen I use. I always felt that having the best stationery would make me a better writer, but it is the great writer who writes on napkins and the backs of envelopes, because it is something they simply must do. (I think I'm butchering a quote from somebody there).

I am going to buy a sketchbook and print out and chronicle all of the things that inspire me inside it. Quotes, pictures, people, fashion collections, artwork. Everything. Just because I am now no longer studying an art subject does not mean that I cannot carry on recording and storing the things I love to look at. I will draw. And paint. Embroider. Knit. Stitch.

I am going to finish reading all of the books I have piled up around my bedside tables. This will be the summer I read War & Peace. I will read The Female Eunuch and A Vindication of the Rights of Women. I will copy the reading lists of my favourite feminist bloggers. I will re-read some of my old favourites and annotate some passages.

I am going to put loads of clothes I don't want or wear any more on ebay, and alter the ones I have been meaning to for ages. And do this myself, without a dressmaker or my mum looking over my shoulder. I will only shop in charity shops (except for shoes). I will do all the DIYs I have had written down for months.

I am going to take pictures all the time. And not be afraid to ask people to take mine. I will learn how to use the more complex settings on my camera. I will buy disposable cameras and appreciate film photography. I will plan a photoshoot for my jewellery shop.

I am going to start anew.

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This post has been so long, and I am sorry. All of this introspection had to spill out somewhere. I will return to normal posting next week. Thank you for sticking with me.